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| Top Ten Signs Your Co-Worker Is a Computer Hacker | |
| 10. | You ticked him off once, and your next phone bill was for $20,000. |
| 9. | He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. |
| 8. | When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. |
| 7. | He seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. |
| 6. | Somehow he gets HBO on his PC at work. |
| 5. | He mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net". |
| 4. | Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments |
| 3. | His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among hobbies. |
| 2. | When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." |
| 1. | You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, Professor." |